What am I not?

After a conversation with someone who I love but I don’t have, they pointed out without really saying it that I am not good enough to be with them even though they recognized the connection. This is the second time that the no came. And in my internal turmoil I went into soul to feel what I am, and while silently feeling I started having visions. A woman, tall, beautiful, with amazing lush hair braided to the calves, in blueish gown of ancient times, flowing along her majestic lines. I felt against my skin on forearms bands, the pieces of this gown, I felt being her. She stood looking from the patio of the house at the nature on horizon. A warm feeling came over me. I wondered what that feeling was… it was freedom! I felt complete. I felt whole. I felt that I was amazing. I wondered what that vision was to understand that it was my past life which was my happiest. I was…

I am… who am I? I am… a woman? I am… who is he? I am less? I am not…

I was… I was that, I was the woman, I was amazing, I was all of what he wants…

I am not… who am I now? Am I light?  Am I great? I am…

What do I need? I need me… I need only me… not him. I am… I have if I have what I need…

I came back from this vision with a feeling that I don’t want that… I don’t want it this way… I want him to love me, chase me and beg me to be with him… I cannot be with him. I need to become. I won’t be with him, I have to become… only when I become he will want and otherwise not…

I am redirecting my focus towards my internal self. I need… I know how…

I have it. You have it. I will create.

What do they see that is not? They see my past. Am I there? I am not… I shifted. I am  creating… it only takes time to manifest!

I need to create now… it is not about them, it is about me…

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