What I noticed in my relationships with externals, when I came to them for help, they were reluctant to assist, as their entire focus is solely on their own life. Usually, the help through them came willingly when I would assist them first through their asking and in gratitude for that they would address my asking right after. Their priority is them and their life. Externals believe in self-empowerment. If you come to them with your needs asking for anything, their interest is not there, they will offer someone else to deal with you, like a professional, where you would even have to pay money, but their personal involvement would not be. Internals who don’t like that because the heart connection of the one who is helping is important, their care and thoughtfulness. Going to professionals for help is the same as never having your need addressed. They feel lonely, neither needed, nor wanted, and only wanted when you give, and when you need help, you are not interesting to them. The power they project is the value that they meet you at.
Interestingly enough the pull between externals and internals is great because there is one important piece that is happening that satisfies both. The perpetual urge of externals to fulfill their own needs meets the desire of the internals to unconditionally give and care. On the negative note, the internals time after time will see that externals do not give much back, unless it goes along with something they want. Over time internals don’t feel satisfied through such relating and can get drained, feel unsupported, abandoned, sad, not loved, not cared for, including used. In some cases, internals keep such connections where they help externals, that’s because another deep need is fulfilled such as being seen as knowledgeable, useful, helpful, some sort of validation for their great gift.
In most cases where externals take, the internals never focus on themselves, it is hard to fix their life and for many reasons, internals might not be able to create a house, a job, a good relationship, because they are invested into lives of others. The focus is everything for manifesting. If you only focus on being there for other people, you can never achieve.
When you ask an external for help and you are an internal, you might even feel odd, it is almost as if you feel them not open, how is it that you are asking me? I personally start feeling internal discomfort. I know that I need their expertise. I also know they will help me just enough, and never carry me through the entirety of help. There is also an element of reluctance. How do I know this? I feel them within. Asking an external for help is the same as bringing upon yourself eventual rejection. They are not here to take care and responsibility of anyone, but themselves. They are really amazing people, but they stand solo. We stand united.
It is something that I am watching in my life for these couple of weeks. I have been working with a few external people who are helping me. One lady who helped a few times and that involved me helping her primarily and as a part of that, she did help. Another person is helping and they have a common problem that we are solving together, therefore it works. The third person has no problems and she showed no interest in helping but redirected me to a professional. It shows that unless there is a need being fulfilled by an external, the desire to shift focus from themselves towards an internal is not fun. This must be known by internals. The help only comes when the internals are open to helping externals.