Do you ever feel that in your life there are blind spots or areas where you struggle the most? I am sure you can name at least one of those right now. If you are an internal, there is almost always an area of depletion, there is always something that you struggle with, and these areas we call the areas of depletion. Being the giver, being the lover, being the caretaker is a higher purpose that we take on, we are guided by higher motives, and we hardly see the pitfalls on the way. Why are we getting depleted? It is because we never stop giving. It is the nature that leads us to fulfillment of our internal nature. For many, including myself, it is the health that suffers the most. To balance this issue, we always feel the need to retreat. Spending time alone, being a loner, hiding from people, is all descriptive of we feel, and that is what is required for us to replenish.
Areas of depletion vary, and the major areas are the health and finances. Health is depleting to higher degrees when you are in relationships with externals. It is always the case and always the same outcome. Those who are in unions with externals must be aware that because of our energetic makeup we as internals are unable and cannot possibly function for a long time next to externals without consequences.
When you first time meet an external, you might have a slight red flag coming up as a feeling or sensation in your body, usually related to your power chakra. And you as an internal will experience some sort of physical discomfort. There is a slight constriction of your energy that also will signal, that you are dealing with an external. The first impression is the right one. When we continue getting to know an external, usually we learn that they are amazing, loving and fun to be with. We even fully drop our defenses and become involved with them, yet… over time it is not only a red flag that we experience, but shouting within your energies, saying “I am in discomfort!”. Even though you experience heightened energy around them and can truly enjoy their presence, there is this gnawing feeling within you that would never go away! It is so strange, because if you try to put a finger on it to figure it out, you will be lost in assumptions, what is it that is wrong with this connection? And many internals think it is their problem that they need to fix, and go about being in discomfort and tolerating externals, yet trying to live and cope. Sometimes such individuals marry, for the passion between these types is great! Yet, the health becomes truly the blind spot and there is a definite depletion of health over time. This does not mean that such unions are bad, the relationships can be the most harmonious, yet, the health always depletes. Unfortunately, this isn’t a proven solution to help internals with such relationships.
Finances is another area of depletion. We as Internals tend to be driven by care, and whether it be material gifts, and including large sums of money, we give and give. For me personally, I gave in finances to my family and friends, including to my husband. All of them needed. I never stopped with that activity. As a result, I had nothing to show, and never got a property for myself to live in. I only took care of financial needs of people around me. I was able to manifest finances pretty well from early age, and I always gave it away. I also never was able to accumulate any material sort of wealth, I simply never had the drive to keep that. They had no meaning. I gave away multiple times everything and started fresh a few times from ground up. It is the care that we have for others, and we don’t care. We give all that we have a times, and that can be a blind spot for us, as in the end of the day nobody will care for us if we don’t care for ourselves, and that’s is the biggest blind spot for all internals. For true care to us, we need to form successful relationships, where what we give is not taken for granted, but given back in other ways. The balance is the key.
The reason for being an internal is not the manifesting. We are not the manifesting types. That is the reason why finances can be also a blind spot. We are caretakers, we are good as mothers who are housewives, we are good as humanitarians, doctors and nurses, we need provision that comes to us and that is the hardest thing to achieve. As we spoke earlier, the vision of us is the blind spot, because if the vision of a parent or a teacher who gives us direction in life, is not manifesting our profession and education in earlier years, we end up without ability to manifest finances. Those internals who come from a good family, have a tendency to create through the vision of generations, who see you succeed.
Coping mechanisms for energy issues can be a sidetrack for some internals. Their ability to cope is the least. The energies of others often end up in the bodies of the internals. We always take on. Energies are never stopping to give to us. This truly is disturbing especially if you are empathic in nature, and I was… You might never truly feel “being yourself” as you walk around carrying other people’s energies. I used to think that I am a chameleon. I behaved like those I socialized with. I wondered, how is that I am like them when I am with them? Only now, I know, I was receiving and collecting other people’s energies. Our blind spot here is, to keep our own energetic sovereignty and be clear in our own body. Regular clearings are needed for us to make sure we feel authentic and true to ourselves.
The worst thing that might happen to internals who are unaware, is getting addicted to sugar, alcohol, or even drugs. The reason behind this is not only about coping with energetic issues, primarily it is the fact that internals are not being seen or understood. Over time, that might lead to depression, and deeper into addiction. The downside here is the coping with life and the need to numb themselves. They cannot cope with their life the way it is.
Especially if love is not given to us, we seem to become starved on love. Starvation on love, is an extreme condition that an internal can go through. When we give and give, and those around take and give nothing back that is good for us, we deplete on love. This is one of the harshest expressions of blind-sightedness that is expressed by those close to internals. Through lack of love and support internals can reach the depth of depletion and despair. In such conditions inability to cope can lead towards brokenness. The feeling of brokenness is not necessarily apparent. The life of the internal, the destruction of areas of life are the manifestations of the internal brokenness. Normally, to overcome extreme brokenness, the internal must retreat from everyone and everything into their own space and heal for as long as that takes. This is a coping mechanism that people outside of internals could consider as extreme, but it is the only mechanism to survive the unloving conditions of the external world. The healing is within. Retreating into oneself is the path to recovery. Replenishment via all supportive resources is the next step to restore from within to without.