When I don’t have

When I lived in few recent incarnations, I hardly could have. I hardly could achieve much, and I didn’t know why. I simply had an understanding that it did not work. When I tried, it didn’t work. When I didn’t try, it worked. When I used to approach my goal, it didn’t come to me. When I didn’t approach, it would come. It appeared as though my manifestations didn’t work. When I tried to explain that to people, they used to say, it did not work that way. When I asked for their help, they used to tell me, I had everything. I used to state to them, it did not work. When I tried to tell them that their help mattered and it would work out with their help, they gave me their no. Without help I could not achieve.

I tried so hard. My attempts didn’t work. When I tried to think what was not happening, I could not come to the right conclusion. When I tried and tried, it only worked sometimes. That I didn’t enjoy.

When I am not loved, I cannot achieve. When I tried to question them about not loving me, they used to walk away. When I tried so much, and it didn’t work, I simply didn’t know what to do. My influence for some reason was so little.

I always could. And I could not for some reason this time. When I looked back I saw that it was all about small things. Those things were not even important. And as a whole the concept of manifesting didn’t succeed.

I know that I can and am capable. When I was deprived of Love, and thrown of out a loving space, I could not. Love achieves. Love cannot. Love can with me.

When I was dumped, I had to leave. For some reason, people didn’t want me. It was hard to live through that. I knew how to do it, but could not correct the situation. These unnecessary trials and tribulations through unsuccessful sequence of attempts led me to quitting my life and not coming back for long. These trials are tough for me to the degree of feeling not potent. It was so hard! I didn’t know how to survive this. That led me to not wanting to live.

When I finally survived this as a spirit, it turned out to be twenty years later. I found all that I needed for me. I had no issues. And I had an understanding that I could. I could not live this way. It led me nowhere. I was guided incorrectly. I had two spirit guides that were unable to do well and achieve. At the time I believe that was the reason. Reason was I cannot. Their knowledge was I cannot. When I asked them why they thought that way, they told me they wanted to think that way and their projections were highly influential. Their reason was, they could not.

I was let down. I was not guided. I was not understood. I was let down by my spirit guides. That led to me not having.

Looking back now, and being more equipped with the new knowledge of two forces, I now learnt that the influence far surpassed the levels of spirit. I know. I had a problem. When I came upon the truth, it was not easy. I don’t know how to live with it. I will.

My Higher Self has. He had a woman. She didn’t love him. She left. And that is why I am not having. When I have, I have. I don’t have a problem. I have a problem when I am not loved. That is what got manifested.

I have. I am. I will.

I am. And I have not. That is not so. My desire to manifest never left. What I am is not valuable to me. That is what is manifesting. That needs to be healed and solved on both levels.

My Higher Self is. I am. He is. She is. She is. She is. I am. We.

All that I have, goes away. It is not the all. I have. I know that. When I see, it came.

When I was not seen in the past, I wasn’t scared. When I was seen sometimes, I used to get surprised. It was a sign that I hardly attracted attention. I had a lot of attention of a different kind. At that time I did not have a woman. The woman left my Higher Self. And I absolutely had none. That also came to pass in other incarnations too. I hardly have women in my life. It is not because I cannot. It is because it does not work.

My Higher Self is capable. He has a lot of knowledge. My knowledge of Him is small. I don’t know who He Is. When I think of Him, I simply know He exists. That is my minimal knowledge.

When I learnt of the levels and their influences, I understood. They manifest. When I manifest alone, it works. When I manifest with him, it does not! My Higher Self needs to align. I am telling Him now, please align.

~ Master Tao, Mixed External

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